Thoughts while watching TORI by Asano Tadanobu. The film as a whole is quite surreal, and it is made up of a few parts. I loved the last one. Just a simple dancer dancing to the horizon of a morning sun. The music is extremely haunting and hynotising, yet calming in a certain manner. I was enthralled and was completely thrown into a whole different world of imagination of my own, as if, I was singled out, my mind flew with the musical notes, as high as they could lift me...
In life, nothing is what it seems. Happiness only happens in a moment, and after that, it just vapourizes...how then can we capture that moment? Those small little moments in life? What is my place in life? At least, this life of mine? How do I define myself? My kids? Is it when they need me, my survival for them equals to the meaning of my life? When you are needed, you are defined by the people who need you. But when you are not, where do you go then?
When you are alone, only then you will find or truly understand yourself, at least. Yet, being so far away from home, I yearn the comfort and warmth of my children. They are so much a part of me already. If I don't have them anymore. Will I still be the same me? Is it that cheeky look on the face or is it that smile across the cheek that captures me?
How could you realize your true potential? How would you know you just have it? What would that moment be like? I guess I will just have to wait for that moment to come...
written in Berlin, during Berlinale Talent Campus, 16 February 2005
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