240: A Moment Too Short
A moment of breathing in and out, life stays and moments can be gone forever.
I have this overwhelming pain and sadness, too intense to even pen them down with words. Lost them almost instantly when I lost my embrace to pain and emotional sufferings lo
ng time ago, like the footprints on sandy beaches, washed away by the tides of time, the moment when I seized to feel, I seized to listen to my heart. Ryan, every single ounce of his flesh and blood is imprinted in my thoughts and head. The very single thought of losing him now, or any moments than now, is ruthless and inexplicable. It is an attachment of the human emotions that make us weak, yet make us so humane at the same time. Take away all these feelings, you strip away the essence of being any woman or even man, to feel pain and to accept sadness in yourself. To reach enlightenment is to simply detach your self. It is a long and lonely journey. Will there be an ultimate destination? No one really knows. But to experience and just be in the moment, you can probably even try, as homo sapiens of the world, in this lifetime. 24 hours in a day, 24 frames per second, all it takes is just 2:40. It is all about visual narration, to experiment and begin with...
A short titled 240
7:15am
A kiss on the cheek, she squeezes her eyes a little and sees her hubby walks out of the room.
7:28 am
An eye opens to greet the morning rays that manage to creep into the tiny room between the swaying light blue curtains, but instantly closes back as an instinct tells this young woman that her little one-and-a half-year-old son is about to wake up any moment. A little tossing and turning is felt between the bed sheets but she still ignores it.
7:29 am
A nudge comes on her forehead and she instantly knows that it is her morning call. She finally struggles to open her eyes and a cute looking boy greets her with a pacifier in his month, rubbing his eyes slightly and points at the door.
7:48 am
He is holding his own milk bottle, sucking away, head resting on a pillow on the marble floor while watching Japanese animation shown on TV. The mother is beside him, watching over him. Once in a while, he will get excited and points at the TV screen.
8:56 am
The mother is hanging clothes outside, very hurriedly while looking over her head to check on the son. Suddenly, she rushes in, thinking that the son maybe climbing the stairs when he suddenly appears out of the corner, standing right in front of the door, holding up a cloth hanger, passing it to the mother with a cheeky look on the face.
9:45 am
The mother pops out a pill from the bottle into his tiny hands and he gingerly places the pink oval pill into his mother's mouth by saying "ahh". She swallows it down with a gush of fresh milk that leaves a smiley moustache. He points and grins at the mother, but seems happy with his little accomplishment.
10:41 am
He is sleeping away peacefully...so does the mother, right beside him. The air is filled with soft yet depressing tunes from 'Secret Garden'.
1:26 pm
"Please, don't come here! It is smelly..."Ryan is just standing by the doorstep of the toilet, looking curious and runs off with his finger puppet in his hands, murmuring words that do not make up a proper sentence.
2:38 pm
Ryan is bathing, having fun in the bathtub, splashing water and smiling at the mother.
6:29 pm
The mother lying on the bed, in the same tiny room, Ryan, at a far distance, seems to be asleep. The mother turns around. After the longest moment, tears start to swell in her eyes. Cries eventually turn into sulking. She cannot seem to stop, she cries uncontrollably.
We could still hear her crying but slowly fades away. Instead, we hear the laughter of the son. But she is still crying, the laughter of the son continues. She finally closes her eyes.
FADE TO BLACK
SWIFT FADE IN
An eye opens and panting is heard. She springs up from the bed and looks at the curtain. It is swaying a little. She then turns back to look at her son, sleeping curled up beside her. Breath in, breath out.
FADE TO BLACK AGAIN
- THE END -
A moment of breathing in and out, life stays and moments can be gone forever.
I have this overwhelming pain and sadness, too intense to even pen them down with words. Lost them almost instantly when I lost my embrace to pain and emotional sufferings lo
ng time ago, like the footprints on sandy beaches, washed away by the tides of time, the moment when I seized to feel, I seized to listen to my heart. Ryan, every single ounce of his flesh and blood is imprinted in my thoughts and head. The very single thought of losing him now, or any moments than now, is ruthless and inexplicable. It is an attachment of the human emotions that make us weak, yet make us so humane at the same time. Take away all these feelings, you strip away the essence of being any woman or even man, to feel pain and to accept sadness in yourself. To reach enlightenment is to simply detach your self. It is a long and lonely journey. Will there be an ultimate destination? No one really knows. But to experience and just be in the moment, you can probably even try, as homo sapiens of the world, in this lifetime. 24 hours in a day, 24 frames per second, all it takes is just 2:40. It is all about visual narration, to experiment and begin with...A short titled 240
7:15am
A kiss on the cheek, she squeezes her eyes a little and sees her hubby walks out of the room.
7:28 am
An eye opens to greet the morning rays that manage to creep into the tiny room between the swaying light blue curtains, but instantly closes back as an instinct tells this young woman that her little one-and-a half-year-old son is about to wake up any moment. A little tossing and turning is felt between the bed sheets but she still ignores it.
7:29 am
A nudge comes on her forehead and she instantly knows that it is her morning call. She finally struggles to open her eyes and a cute looking boy greets her with a pacifier in his month, rubbing his eyes slightly and points at the door.
7:48 am
He is holding his own milk bottle, sucking away, head resting on a pillow on the marble floor while watching Japanese animation shown on TV. The mother is beside him, watching over him. Once in a while, he will get excited and points at the TV screen.
8:56 am
The mother is hanging clothes outside, very hurriedly while looking over her head to check on the son. Suddenly, she rushes in, thinking that the son maybe climbing the stairs when he suddenly appears out of the corner, standing right in front of the door, holding up a cloth hanger, passing it to the mother with a cheeky look on the face.
9:45 am
The mother pops out a pill from the bottle into his tiny hands and he gingerly places the pink oval pill into his mother's mouth by saying "ahh". She swallows it down with a gush of fresh milk that leaves a smiley moustache. He points and grins at the mother, but seems happy with his little accomplishment.
10:41 am
He is sleeping away peacefully...so does the mother, right beside him. The air is filled with soft yet depressing tunes from 'Secret Garden'.
1:26 pm
"Please, don't come here! It is smelly..."Ryan is just standing by the doorstep of the toilet, looking curious and runs off with his finger puppet in his hands, murmuring words that do not make up a proper sentence.
2:38 pm
Ryan is bathing, having fun in the bathtub, splashing water and smiling at the mother.
6:29 pm
The mother lying on the bed, in the same tiny room, Ryan, at a far distance, seems to be asleep. The mother turns around. After the longest moment, tears start to swell in her eyes. Cries eventually turn into sulking. She cannot seem to stop, she cries uncontrollably.
We could still hear her crying but slowly fades away. Instead, we hear the laughter of the son. But she is still crying, the laughter of the son continues. She finally closes her eyes.
FADE TO BLACK
SWIFT FADE IN
An eye opens and panting is heard. She springs up from the bed and looks at the curtain. It is swaying a little. She then turns back to look at her son, sleeping curled up beside her. Breath in, breath out.
FADE TO BLACK AGAIN
- THE END -
I choose to feel the pain in order to move me closer to be a stronger person. Dedicated especially to those who feel pain, in the distant, yet vivid memories of their loved one(s).
Now I can go to sleep, knowing that I have survived this second sudden attack of overwhelming sadness in me, in those strange nights. 4:55am, 6 June 2002, Thursday morning.
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