So ready to die...or is he?

I was driving back home tonight, from OneU towards Sunway, on LDP. My hubby was playing with my second son, Aidan at the Back. Ryan was angry at us for not allowing him to watch "Terminator 3" when we get home. The digital clock in the car showed 11:57. He has kindergarten to go to tomorrow morning!

As we were approaching the curve right after Kelana Jaya LRT station, a man in white shirt, khakis pants stood right in the middle of the road. I saw him from a distance but thought that he was trying to cross the road. As the cars moved closer, he did not even try to move an inch from where he was standing. All cars had to slow down to avoid hitting him. Is he insane? Was he trying to get himself knocked down by a car, deliberately? I have no idea. When I drove passed him, all I could think of was how irresponsible he is and how guilty I would have felt if I were to accidentally run him down. Maybe, he is trying to kill himself...but why and for what reasons? For whatever reasons he may have, it is hard for us to even comprehend why one decides to take their own lives, but I could relate to that one notion to a certain extend because, I too once had that thought flashed in my young mind, but I guess I was too afraid to make it a reality.

I guess the idea of conscious death can hit you there and then, just a split of a second. If only you had someone by your side, then, to clear your mind, the next second could be the longest moment in your entire life, it could even change your whole perspective towards life, completely. I have often wondered how it would be like for me, if I were to die and what would have come out of it. It scares me too much because there are still so much that I have not done or accomplished in life. Greed is one of the true natures of being a human, I must admit.

I wonder if he is still alive...