The sweetness in them

A visit to the grandparents staying at Swiss Garden KL recently. Even though the two boys seem to fight and argue with one another quite often these days, but ultimately, they still love one another more than anything else.

A short break at Muar

ECHOES

ECHOES 2004 20 mins
Directed by: Patrick Lim
Screenplay by: Jennifer Liew
Genre: Psychological supernatural drama
Starring: Deanna Yusoff

Synopsis
ECHOES is about memories and their illusions, reflections, its resonance, rupture of time and the question of truth.

Julia works late in her office one night and she starts to see things. An encounter with her two colleagues earlier is repeated before her eyes, a mysterious woman who walks pass her without responding to her and a little girl in black dress with black balloons. What is happening to Julia?

Excepts from the script

FADE IN

CAPTION

IN THE BEGINNING...
Fast cut of a LONG and NARROW CORRIDOR, deserted and silent

...THERE WAS NO EXISTENCE OF...
Fast cut of another similar looking corridor, yet somehow different.
...TIME...

A CREEPY looking SEMI-OPENED HALLWAY, the night wind is whistling.
VERY SLOW FADE OUT

FADE IN

1. INT. - STAIRCASE - LATE NIGHT
One of the lights at the corridor flickers. The upwards-staircase remains empty. A faint smoke emits from the astray standing at one corner of the staircase. The leaves from the plants in the pots swaying a little due to the night breeze. We turn a corner into the door to the office.

CUT TO:

2. INT. - OFFICE - LATE NIGHT
The office is almost dead quiet. The only faint sound that can be heard is a slow humming of air conditioning from afar. The paintings from the walls are faces of human starring right back at you, with almost fiery eyes that one can hardly decipher at this time of the day. All lights are out except for one wing at the far end. We pass rows of cubicles at both sides but they all look almost identical under such darkness. As we move closer towards the light, we see JULIA working at her desk.

When Patrick told me about his idea for this short film back then, I was fascinated by the subject matter, but most of all, we were intrigued by the fact that we could experiment with the fragmented structure of the story itself, and how the story is told and presented. I have always loved to try something different.

I remembered the writing process was quite an interesting one.

It took me about a month or so to finish it. Of course, from there, more re-writes. If anyone had seen the short film, the opening itself is slightly different. That's the best things about films - they are so organic and forever evolving and changing. It was a good learning experience for me. It is in fact, the first Malaysian short film shot on HD format. The entire project was funded by MDC. We sincerely thank them for making it happened for us.

We had mixed reviews for the film, whenever we screened it, but one thing is for sure, we are glad that we took that journey and that one step forward in our filmmaking career and we are proud of that. Making films is never an easy task, given the fact that you need to face realities in life, the questions of do you stick by your passion or do you need to do something more substantial to support a family of four (that is always a tough decision for my husband to make, therefore, I do admire him for his tenacity and courage) but we would stick to our passions till the end of the world, even though it means giving whatever that we have got in us.

CHOICE - Part 2

The Making of CHOICE - a walk down memory lane
Part 2
We have seen how CHOICE was conceived, let's look at the style of the film

The Director's note, by Patrick Lim:
Style
Firstly, I wanted to have a documentary-like style to it. Since I am approaching it from an outline only, the dialogues between the characters were going to be improvised all the way and the style would compliment the spontaneity. To accomplish that, I decided that the best choice of style was to refer to the "dogma". I followed a few key points but not all of the ten rules under the "DOGMA" 95 and they are hand held, real locations, and existing lights from the locations.

It was essential that the cameras be liberated from the confines of pan and tilt on a tripod. They needed to be able to move freely and follow the conversation. The other source that I referred to unconsciously was John Cassavetes' approach and recently I read up on him again and his style struck a chord in the realization of CHOICE.

I wanted the cameramen to feel whatever the characters were feeling and project their feelings into handling the cameras and hopefully, conceptually it can transcend whatever emotions across to the audience. It only worked in a few spots. Only one of them understood what I wanted to achieve with that approach. The handheld approach also gives a psychological mirror to all the characters, the instability of their minds about identity and gender.

The jump cut editing style that I employed in CHOICE reflects the dysfunctional of the characters. I refuse the fades and dissolves as not to paint pretty pictures in the subject matters that were brought out.

to be continued...

Save Z Chen

I have recently discovered a great local singing talent. Though it is a little late, but I think good things should be shared with others. The album is a compilation of his bests Mandarin songs, called Save Z Chen. My favourite numbers include Blessed Me, 3am, Sleepless Town. If you are those who work late at night and need something to sooth your ears or some inspirations for your work, this album is a good one to soak into...

CHOICE

The making of CHOICE - a walk down memory lane

Part 1

Though I did not write the script for this short film, Patrick and myself did speak of the project before he started shooting it.

CHOICE (April 2003) 20mins, directed by Patrick Lim

The Director's note:

An Introduction

We, Malaysians as a whole are lost. Our national policy of our national language has been ever evolving. Is it Bahasa Malaysia, Bahasa Baku or Bahasa Melayu? The battle between the Government and the opposition over the true meaning of Islam has caused the government to overcompensate by regressing in its plight. Racial tensions are swept under the carpet by showing a superficial unified lot.

English has been given an importance as we head into the globalized arena but are we ready to be part of the larger picture. Malaysia is in fact in a limbo state. So, where does that leave our youth?

The Beginning
That was the anchor to CHOICE but I needed to flesh out other social issues within CHOICE. Originally set to be a trilogy where I start with the middle (being CHOICE), LIFE and DEATH would compliment the social issues that we deal with.

The idea of a girl torn between her wild free lifestyle and her upcoming marriage to a Malay man came to mind and I had the premise of a party among three friends as the basis. A party, with the right atmosphere and substance is a ripe place for a lot of things to happen. Immediately, I wrote an outline of CHOICE down and that was in early March 2003.

For CHOICE to work, I needed to get actors who have been friends for sometime. There are many times in our own lives when reality becomes difficult to be differentiated from illusion, which is why the emotional content in CHOICE had to be truthful to its source.

to be continued...

240

240: A Moment Too Short

A moment of breathing in and out, life stays and moments can be gone forever.

I have this overwhelming pain and sadness, too intense to even pen them down with words. Lost them almost instantly when I lost my embrace to pain and emotional sufferings long time ago, like the footprints on sandy beaches, washed away by the tides of time, the moment when I seized to feel, I seized to listen to my heart. Ryan, every single ounce of his flesh and blood is imprinted in my thoughts and head. The very single thought of losing him now, or any moments than now, is ruthless and inexplicable. It is an attachment of the human emotions that make us weak, yet make us so humane at the same time. Take away all these feelings, you strip away the essence of being any woman or even man, to feel pain and to accept sadness in yourself. To reach enlightenment is to simply detach your self. It is a long and lonely journey. Will there be an ultimate destination? No one really knows. But to experience and just be in the moment, you can probably even try, as homo sapiens of the world, in this lifetime. 24 hours in a day, 24 frames per second, all it takes is just 2:40. It is all about visual narration, to experiment and begin with...

A short titled 240
7:15am
A kiss on the cheek, she squeezes her eyes a little and sees her hubby walks out of the room.
7:28 am
An eye opens to greet the morning rays that manage to creep into the tiny room between the swaying light blue curtains, but instantly closes back as an instinct tells this young woman that her little one-and-a half-year-old son is about to wake up any moment. A little tossing and turning is felt between the bed sheets but she still ignores it.
7:29 am
A nudge comes on her forehead and she instantly knows that it is her morning call. She finally struggles to open her eyes and a cute looking boy greets her with a pacifier in his month, rubbing his eyes slightly and points at the door.
7:48 am
He is holding his own milk bottle, sucking away, head resting on a pillow on the marble floor while watching Japanese animation shown on TV. The mother is beside him, watching over him. Once in a while, he will get excited and points at the TV screen.
8:56 am
The mother is hanging clothes outside, very hurriedly while looking over her head to check on the son. Suddenly, she rushes in, thinking that the son maybe climbing the stairs when he suddenly appears out of the corner, standing right in front of the door, holding up a cloth hanger, passing it to the mother with a cheeky look on the face.
9:45 am
The mother pops out a pill from the bottle into his tiny hands and he gingerly places the pink oval pill into his mother's mouth by saying "ahh". She swallows it down with a gush of fresh milk that leaves a smiley moustache. He points and grins at the mother, but seems happy with his little accomplishment.
10:41 am
He is sleeping away peacefully...so does the mother, right beside him. The air is filled with soft yet depressing tunes from 'Secret Garden'.
1:26 pm
"Please, don't come here! It is smelly..."Ryan is just standing by the doorstep of the toilet, looking curious and runs off with his finger puppet in his hands, murmuring words that do not make up a proper sentence.
2:38 pm
Ryan is bathing, having fun in the bathtub, splashing water and smiling at the mother.
6:29 pm
The mother lying on the bed, in the same tiny room, Ryan, at a far distance, seems to be asleep. The mother turns around. After the longest moment, tears start to swell in her eyes. Cries eventually turn into sulking. She cannot seem to stop, she cries uncontrollably.

We could still hear her crying but slowly fades away. Instead, we hear the laughter of the son. But she is still crying, the laughter of the son continues. She finally closes her eyes.

FADE TO BLACK

SWIFT FADE IN
An eye opens and panting is heard. She springs up from the bed and looks at the curtain. It is swaying a little. She then turns back to look at her son, sleeping curled up beside her. Breath in, breath out.

FADE TO BLACK AGAIN

- THE END -

I choose to feel the pain in order to move me closer to be a stronger person. Dedicated especially to those who feel pain, in the distant, yet vivid memories of their loved one(s).

Now I can go to sleep, knowing that I have survived this second sudden attack of overwhelming sadness in me, in those strange nights. 4:55am, 6 June 2002, Thursday morning.

Titiwangsa - a walk through the park

Titiwangsa - a dance theatre, directed by Ramli Ibrahim. It is also my parents' first live performance on stage. This is my second time watching a performance at Istana Budaya. The first one was to watch my hubby act in a play called Ronggeng Rokiah, directed by Dr. Anuar NorArai, few years back. This time, because of my mum and dad. They have been practising TaiChi for the longest time, but this time, they get to show off their skills on stage, in front of a large audience. The show starts with great lightings. The sets design is pretty intriguing, coupled with a good piece of music. I think Valerie Ross, the music composer did quite a good job. There were a couple of really interesting pieces of music. Sivarajah, the sets and props designer also was not bad. The three dimensional stage of layout gives it more depth and added a certain feel to the performance. When my mum and dad appeared on stage, I was suddenly hit by a sense of joy, seeing them on stage, for the very first time. It brought a pinch of tears to my eyes. Suddenly, I felt so proud of them, even though I never really told them before. The time they spent rehearsing, the hardwork, I think it all paid off for them, in return for an experience of a lifetime - for them and for me as well.

In Memories of Those We Love

The Lost of Meaning

My inspiration was left buried

underneath the bed of ignorance

the soil of turbulence covered

the grave of my heart

I saw blood

I saw tears from the tombstone

but I could not find the source

of this tears

The fountain of happiness

had all been dried up

under the scorching heat of despair

the beating of my heart

could no longer be heard very clearly

the melody of the piece of music I once so

feel for could not be hummed

My songs left unsung

My music left unfinished

My soul runs dry

in the midst of change

At times my words have no meaning

have no flavours

written on a Thursday, 20 February 1997, 2:40am

What made me write that? Well, those were the days when I felt as though the whole world seems to crush upon me, I felt that enormous burden in my heart. Those feelings were indescribable, and could only be a part of me, in the past, which makes me who I am now. I have always believed that great work comes from tremendous hardships, under extreme sufferings, in any art form. In complacency in life, one could only live life on the very surface of things, unless you take time often enough to look within yourself, to reflect and to respond to something deeper within.

Memories are always haunting yet captivating in certain ways. You fear to travel back in time, to feel those pain once again, like a fresh wound on your skin, burning but somehow, your hands cannot resist peeling the warp that has been there, staring right back at you. I had news from a dear friend recently, who has just lost his beloved one. I had very few of those experiences in my life so far, the only one that I could remember was the death of my grandmother, so many years ago. The day of the funeral was like any other day for me, for there was a degree of detachment from her since I left hometown for further studies. The praying rituals of the monks seem like music to my ears, they were the least, sad or made me want to cry. But not when the men started to cover the coffin of my grandmother, and the pounding sound of the hammer on the nails to seal the coffin that it started to dawn on the naive and young me back then, that my grandmother was indeed, already dead and left us...forever and this is the end of everything...for her and for me, with her. The line just stops there, like what my friend sharply but accurately puts it, with him and his beloved brother. When I read those lines, my tears started streaming, like how it did, with my grandmother laying in the coffin, with the deafening sound of the slow pounding.

I write this now, especially to you, my dear old friend, to tell you that how much I care, even though I hardly knew your brother, but the pain is all the same. I hope you find the strength within you, to stand tall again and live life to the fullest, in memory of those, we have lost along our way. This is dedicated to you, and the rest of us all:

The Last Corner
When the world is round
then
any part of the circle is a corner
if you keep running
you will not find an end
so the solution is to stop
When will you and where will you
make and find your last corner?

Though the ideal environment is always looked for
Is there indeed, an ideal environment?
has not the Blessed One
taught that all things near and dear to us
must past away?
Though there will always be
better ones and worse ones

time is running out on us
this fact remains clear -
we have got to start somewhere
or rather
where we are
(taken from a Dhamma book)

The Bat in Every Man or Woman

Our Trip to Batman Begins, the movie The whole family was pretty excited, even the two cheeky boys. My hubby, of course, had to watch it way before all of us and the second viewing - with the family. I was afraid that Aidan would be restless for he was so afraid of the dark the last time we took him for The Incredibles (his first movie for a two-year-old) that I had to leave the movie even before it started. He was afraid of the darkness in the theatre when the lights went down, just like Christian Bale in Batman Begins. Surprisingly, he managed to pull through. Ryan was completely soaked into the whole action pack of the movie, as for me, I was close to having my ears blown away by the "magnificent" SOUND system! But I have to admit that it is a fun film to watch, one of the few action-flicks that I actually enjoy from Hollywood. Of course, it brings us to the question - what is our greatest fear? I guess, all of us have something that we are afraid of, no matter how "manly" one can be, or else, FEAR FACTOR would not be a hit TV show. As for mine, it will remain a secret only to those who are close to me enough to know. By the way, I love the posters, they are awesome, especially on billboards!

After Thoughts of Berlinale

Berlin - A place for arts and culture

My first impression of Berlin was the Berlin Tegal Airport, though pretty small compared to our majestic yet somehow feels cold KLIA, nonetheless efficient. Once we stepped out of the airport, we were instantly hit by a gush of chilled air, very invigorating indeed, for two tropical country people like us. The bus passed through a series of suburban area houses which only immediately reminded me of some outskirts areas of Vancouver, Canada. We checked into our A& O Hostel at Zoo Garden later and there we were, our first time in Berlin, and the very first in a European country.

The days followed suit with series of film seminars and workshops, which some were inspirational, uplifting but most of all, fun and rewarding. In between those times, we managed to try and travel and venture further , apart from the Berlinale Festival area, with the U-Barn, S-Barn (like our LRT) and buses available. We have to say that Berlin's land transportation is amazingly systematic, timely and advance, highly convenient and affordable too. Food is as diverse as the transportation itself. One thing which is apparent in Berlin is their great architecture and their unique sculptures, on the streets corner, at the park, in front of a building block, almost everywhere you go, you see them. The city is bursting with the smell of arts and culture. The people are quite in tune with arts in general too.

My most rewarding experience in Berlin would definitely have to be the snow for that was my very first one. The fact that you are in one of the places that appreciates arts more from where you came from makes you feel like you are indeed soaking in blissful heaven of your own craft.